“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

Epictetus

I stay with her, my seven-and-a-half-month-old girl, who has just started mumbling “mumumum” in her most heartbreaking moments; being stuck under the table, missing her typical track while crawling, or just not seeing me for five minutes! That’s us from her birth. We usually play a lot and laugh even more, but things have changed over the last few weeks. The stress and anxiety caused by this flu is not easy to handle at all.

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.”

—Charles Spurgeon

She is a fall baby. It was golden yellow throughout all the glasses around my home, and I dreamed of her amid these beautiful golden leaves inviting newness like the new mom to be. I was COVID affected by then when she was born, but she tested negative. My brave girl was such a big fighter! And for these seven months, she never caught cold, but this time was an exception. She got the bug anyhow. She is still a fighter, but as a mom, I don’t feel strong enough to see her fighting against any odds. My bad!

Not only she got the flu,eventually we three got affected one by one- mamma, papa, and baby. Her father got it hard and fought it with all his strength.This whole lengthy process is tiring enough to make you feel down mentally.

So the other day, I was studying the effects of flu on the psychological well-being of a family, thinking it may bring some structure in our mindset to fight it with ease. After all, I’m a mother, a wife, and this tiny family depends on my mental calmness.

With this in mind, I spent hours reading about the possible psychological traits caused by influenza as the virus spreads with unusual virulence throughout our surroundings.

Some general findings: flu, stress and anxiety

• The “flu” is the common term used for the routine visit of highly adaptable seasonal influenza virus
• Every influenza cycle is unique because the virus is impressively flexible and punctually seasonal.
• Depending on the frequently changing nature of the influenza virus, there is a new vaccine every year, and each new vaccine is supposed to predict how the virus will present itself to our immune systems once it’s open in the air. We missed the vaccine this year. I had my baby, had COVID and mid of doing so many things, I missed the vaccination. But we should have, Because the flu is often less severe if we take the vaccine in time; have a read about the vaccine here.

The common symptoms : Flu in the family

I can not tell you something different here that you don’t already know-

• You may have your fevers, and your coughs, and your headaches.
• and your gastrointestinal state may get upset.
• Flu may include an intensive array of aches and pains. You can read all about the symptoms here.
• And the most heartbreaking part is that you see your near ones get affected by you, one by one in your own home.

Still, I can give you a better definition of the symptoms from my own experience.

You’ll feel like a roller coaster has constantly hit you. It’s a Marathon and can make you feel down in the process. I’m not too fond of roller coasters, either. They both give me an unfettered trauma over being alive.

The flu may come and pass as well over time, but many psychiatrists and paediatricians worry about the depression resulting from it.

The common psychological symptoms : Flu stress and anxiety

1. Feeling lousy.
2. worsening mood and anxiety during the infection,
3. It’s worse in people with pre-existing psychiatric syndromes.

Some interesting finding

Flu, stress and anxiety, Emotional health and mental well-being

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

—William S. Burroughs

• Mental and emotional distress is often associated with inflammation. We all know the flu puts your body in a highly inflammatory state; it is most likely that this inflammation affects the body’s psyche.
• Psychiatric symptoms often improve with Tylenol or Ibuprofen, or other methods that can also cool down the inflammatory system.
• Then again comes the part – self-care. When you are depressed, you’re less likely to care for yourself well, and this gets even worse when the flu gets into the mix.
• High-stress states like depression, stress or anxiety can deactivate the immune response to other illnesses, including influenza. That’s why we are more likely to become physically and emotionally unstable under highly stressful circumstances.
• One other thing is that the flu, like all serious illnesses, can slightly cause developmental regression, meaning that children may feel and act younger than their actual age. I discovered this with my little kid very significantly.
• Little kids with the flu often want to snuggle and cuddle more and have a much lower tolerance for pain or sickness.
• Some kids ask about the flu frequently to their parents, especially those who get anxious during times of uncertainty. In my case, my baby can hardly mumble, let alone speak. But this goes for the parents of two to five years old toddler.
• Older kids may act with more tantrums and or can be nihilistic.
• Flu engenders fatigue related to the inflammatory response other psychiatric syndromes have in common. The most confusing issue is that the effects of flu and other psychiatric disorders have many in common.
• Loss of interest in food and activities, lack of energy, relatively poor concentration, overthinking, worry, and sadness are all symptoms of the flu and a psychological state of depression or anxiety.

Emotional flu : Stress and Anxiety

So while reading a few articles, I came across the term “emotional flu” and I fear we all go through this state while fighting the physical one. In this state, We may feel trapped in emotions, unable to think clearly and make good decisions that can be acting to fix ourselves or asking for help. This phase may be the time in our life when we become emotionally overwhelmed. It does not always mean we’re having a mental health issue or experiencing a mental illness.

However, this mental state and physical illness may cause severe mental trauma while dealing with other stuff in life. The fact is that nothing stops for you, your job, your monthly bills, rent, insurance, your baby – the rest of the world revolves in its flow. So we can not stop either but bring some little changes to help us recover.

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.”

—Walter Anderson

• Self-care and self-compassion are something we prioritise now a days. We tried to address all the stress we were going through, including taking care of our kid, my husband’s job and managing every little thing by ourselves. This little acknowledgement gives us mental strength when we feel down.
• And don’t judge yourselves as being weak or broken. This time I stopped doing extra chores, including cooking. We are usually used to home-cooked meals, but we made a complete stop to this for some time.
• After a long day, we try to sit beside our window with our daily tea cups. This tea-talk with the summer wind gives us the freshness we miss all day long. This little talk is that emotional care we offer each other every single day.
• I try to keep my cell phone away in the evening while with him. I try to connect with the person sharing this whole fight with me. It gives me peace.
• I spent most of the time singing COCO MELON songs during this time. I memorised most of them! I love when she smiles, watching me sing the songs for her. Dance is a bonus for us sometimes!
• As we live far away from our parents, I tried to spend quality time talking with parents and relatives. It makes us feel warm. Sharing with the family has some magical effect on mental distress.
• Sometimes we walked on our trail, went for a drive or a short visit. Even in the mid of diziness, it lets us feel normal.
• There’s no shame in coming down with the emotional flu; just have faith that with help and time, we will recover.

A SPECIAL ADDITION TO MY HOME DECOR

“Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.”

—Jodi Picoult

Summing Up

“Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it— just as we have learned to live with storms.”

—Paulo Coelho

However, besides all these, I always consider the duration, frequency and consistency while dealing with mental health. If all the symptoms don’t settle down after all this self-care and family support, I always suggest everyone to seek for a doctor’s help. And undoubtedly, there is no shame in it.

The flu, for most of us, passes. It gives us a particularly awful couple of weeks but nothing more than that. Still, we should not hesitate to get treatment for our mind and body. There’s no absolute separation between mind and body. If you suffer emotionally, you feel sick. If you feel unwell, your feelings suffer. These are deeply interlinked, and there is no way to overlook them and mindfully be alive simultaneously.

Last but not the least, ofcourse, never forget to be grateful for this beautiful life because only then does it make sense to live.